The world reflects us to us. If we look and see. Several years ago people were reading, Tales of a Female Nomad by Rita Golden Gelman...and saying, "Lynn---this makes me think of YOU!" Intrigued, I read it, and could see why! Well, not the divorce part. But the out-there, open, curious, adventuring woman part---oh yeah baby!
At 13, I took my first steps over the Mexican border in Tijuana. Eyes Wide Open. A suburban Minnesota girl seeing beyond my imagining. Bartering for a leather fringed jacket. I was torn even then--was it good to barter (save money) or bad to barter (these people clearly needed the money)?
At 13, I heard a Japanese foreign exchange student speak. To this day, I can remember the warm afternoon in our sunny, junior high cafeteria. I went home and wrote in my diary, "I'll be a foreign exchange student one day!"
At 16, I saved my waitressing tips from The Crosstown Kitchen, the Scandinavian cafe where we served lutefisk and lefse in our white dresses and shoes. These tips funded a 6 week trip with fellow students to Austria, Germany, and even a whiff of Switzerland, Lichtenstein and France! I was the youngest traveler. And I was bit. Truly bit by the adventure travel bug. Bit by the clear knowing that it is in connecting that we find ourselves. I had connections with gasthof proprietors. Bus drivers. Soldiers. Boys. Single mothers. Trees. It is in these reflections of culture and humanity, by likeness or contrast, that we see who we are. In community, we become more of who we are.
At 17, I applied to be an AFS Foreign Exchange Student. In those days, you didn't pick your country. You were saying yes to anywhere in the world. Which suited me just fine. I pictured the depths of Africa. I was chosen and sent to Tasmania, Australia. And blossomed. And struggled. And communicated. And connected---over cups of tea & bottles of rum. Legs of lamb and mixed grill on the barbie. Over hundreds of kitchen tables. I joined in. Joined up. Joined the conversation. Joined a family for a year...and for forever. It's really profound now, as I pause and write. As a 17 year old, you're almost by definition, self-centered. (I certainly was--even tho global questions had already begun to burn in me.) Now, I realize what a wildly generous act this was for my host family... to fling open their doors and invite me, a stranger, in! Risking...and receiving. Last night they were in my dreams.
At 21, I accepted the job of my dreams. But first, I turned my '67 Chevy Malibu south for an inland Mexican odyssey...of course! Who knew when I'd be free to travel again?? Brass ring, grabbed!
At 24, it was Korea. To follow and check out my love. It landed and lasted. Ben and I just celebrated 31 years!
Honk Kong. Singapore. Japan. Thailand. Cambodia. China. Tibet. Morocco. Senegal. France.
At 55, Italy. Leadership on a rooftop. It was there, in Rome, that Alberto (my colleague) and I created and fired up up the "International Cooking Game." We flung out the invitation to get curious and experiment with strangers...through food, joy and play! Potatoes met fish met apples met chocolate met beans met olive oil.
At 56, I have just finished reading Female Nomad and Friends ~ Tales of Breaking Free and Breaking Bread Around the World. Real women's stories, compiled by Gelman. In these pages, I see my reflection. And so, it was last night---over my kitchen table that I pulled out this book, to share this passage by Melanie Ehler from a chapter entitled, Soul Food. "Some hunger can be satisfied with food, but there is also another more intimate type of hunger that can only be appeased by kindness."
I'd intended to just read the quote. But there I was, reading the short story aloud. It was about fried chicken---and compassion. It took about 5 minutes. Tears flowed, making it almost impossible to read. Tears that told me without a shadow of a doubt that I was right where I belonged. Looking at my true reflection. A life of curiosity, kindness, adventure, joy, gratitude and deep, deep connection.
Postscript
AFS still exists. It's a powerful organization uniting young people with host families globally. It was founded by WWII ambulance drivers---who experienced connection on the battlefield, regardless of country or politics. There, they were people saving people...and ideas of "enemy" slipped away. And so, they sought to create these human to human connections, very intentionally. One student and one family at a time. This is the enduring motto: "Walk together, talk together, all ye peoples of the lands. Then and only then shall ye have peace."
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